Humbled

I have had the blessing of working as a partner, as a board member, as a volunteer and now I have the great privilege of working as a staff member of Changed Choices. Why is it such a privilege? Because it gives me a front row seat to see God work miracles on a regular basis.

I’ve now officially been visiting prisons for a decade. And I’ve visited a LOT of prisons and met many special people. One thing that always struck me though was the frequency that the song “Because He Lives” was chosen by inmates to sing when they were together. Even more was the passion I’d hear when they’d sing it. Well, the dots were connected this past weekend for me.

Several of our clients, volunteers, board, and staff went to Montreat this past weekend. We stayed in a dorm-style building with a shared common area – perfect for fellowship. For some of these women, it was the first time they’d ever climbed a mountain or even been to the mountains. It was an incredible time.

Our theme was “Changed by the Maker” and we focused a bit on Jeremiah 18:1-6 where the clay was marred and yet the potter could reshape that clay. How true it is of all of us! The clients further on the path in transition would give the talks, sharing the applications of surrender, moving forward and forgiveness from their own stories and then we’d break into small groups to talk about where we are now in those areas.

It brought me to tears over and over to hear their stories. Some of these women with backgrounds of years and even decades as addicts and in prostitution who were touched by the love of Jesus. Some who lived on the streets and slept under bridges. I can’t say it better than they can, so here are some quotes I wrote down throughout the weekend:

“My only fear of God now is that I would ever have to face a day without Him”

“Bless them; change me” – a prayer of one of the clients realizing that though many people have wronged her, it wasn’t worth the captivity she’d stay in to not forgive them and move forward.

“If you (speaking to Ruth – the founder of Changed Choices) can forgive me, then I can believe that God can forgive me, too” and piggy-backing on that, another woman said, “that’s true, and your forgiveness saved my life” because it led her to God and out of the lifestyle she was in. If that isn’t motivation to get in the lives of people and love them, I don’t know what is.

“There isn’t an area in my life I can find that He has failed me”

To a mom who left her children for the street life when they were 1, 3 and 5 – and returned 10 years later and slowly won custody…
“Thank you, Mom. Growing up, I never pictured you being here on my wedding day.”
And when she picked her son up for the first time to take him home to live with her and she asked – how are we going to get through this? He said: “If you drive this car looking in the rearview mirror, you’ll run off the road.”

How true that is… and how humbling. We must look forward, accepting His new mercies every morning – forgiving ourselves and others and crawling back up on the true Potter’s wheel daily to be molded, used and filled for His Glory!

Now I understand the passion in the song… “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow, Because He lives, all fear is gone, Because I know, God holds the future and life is worth the living, just because He lives.” When you don’t have family or friends that are safe, when you are homeless, when you can’t see a better choice than to shoot up or drink, when you have suffered decades of abuse… the only reason worth getting up for in the morning is that Jesus loves you. Of course that’s true for all of us, but seeing this truth through the eyes of these women, I could realize and appreciate it all the more.

That then begs the question – why didn’t the Lord allow me to have the life that some of these women have walked? Why did I grow up in a loving, Christian home? Because I did something right? Because He was nice to me? Because I'm a lucky one who gets to take a break for this life? Absolutely not. He has equipped me and blessed me, not for me alone, but to use the compassion, love, joy, peace, talents, abilities, time and energy that He has given me to reach out to others and help them experience the same great, mighty, awesome God that I have. To whom much is given, much is required and so we must not grow weary in doing good.

Praise the Lord for women who are physically living each day simply because Jesus loves them, laid down His life for them and took the penalty for their sin. And Praise the Lord because He did that for me, too, and gave me this precious freedom to live in relationship with Him experiencing His joy, peace, love and so much more!!